a British joke concerning Germans

(must be told in the most ridiculous German accent you can muster)

a german couple had a baby and became worried because, as time passed, the baby did not say a single thing. it didn't utter a first word. it would not speak. four years passed, and one morning, at breakfast, the toddler pronounced:

'deez egg tastes like shit!'

the parents were elated. they called family and threw a celebration. finally they asked, 'son, why did it take so long for you to speak?' and the child said:

'everything else so far has been perfectly satisfactory.'

a real Danish story that illustrates Danish sense of time

recently i went over to the apartment of a brazilian woman in my danish class, who has a danish husband. we got on the subject of cultural sense of time. she told me that about a year ago she was having trouble with something in her life and wanted to talk about it, so she called her husband's sister on a sunday. 'i'm really struggling with this,' she said to her sister-in-law, 'and i'd like to talk to someone.' 'you know,' said the sister-in-law, 'i don't have anything planned two wednesdays from now! why don't you come over in the evening?'

not rude at all, just danish.

most - not all - Danes are sticklers for both timeliness and planning. don't be late to a danish gathering. set your watch early. take the early train. don't arrive too early, either. just arrive on time.

when i was a student my danish host family had a relative that had married a woman from south america. they always joked that it was funny because her culture's sense of time had rubbed off on him, even though they live in denmark, instead of vice versa. 'and now,' they lamented, half-jokingly, 'he NEVER comes on time to anything!'